Indictments Expected to Be Handed Down Today in Bagelgate Scandal

April 1, 2019-Davidovich Bakery news has learned that the MANHATTAN District Attorney’s Office has empaneled a Grand Jury to determine whether indictments should be handed down in the the St Louis Bagelgate scandal.

The facts surrounding the case involve the unapologetic slicing of bagels vertically, like a loaf of bread, in violation of bagel laws and standards.  To make matters more egregious, the parties involved brashly posted photos of their crimes to social media.

While it was initially unclear whether any chargeable offense was committed, public outcry influenced the decision to seek indictments in this case late last week.

According to bagel expert Marc Fintz of Davidovich Bakery, “this is the greatest bagel scandal since Dunkin Donuts called its bagels Artisan.  I expect the full resources of the NYPD and the Manhattan DA’s office to be used in pursuing these offenders.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this goals Federal.”

Stay tuned for more developments in this case next April Fools’ Day.

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